lollipops

• Katie, you played soccer yesterday.  It was nice to see you get in there and battle for the ball.  Your spring league has been playing teams that are one year older and at a higher level.  You've felt intimidated and kind of scared, but this game, I could see a little spark of that Katie Bean magic.  I jokingly made a hand signal that would communicate my new motto for you, "GTFB".  Hahahaha.  (I hope I remember what that stands for in the future, because its pretty hilarious.)  You kept looking over at me during the game and I'd do the hand signal, then you'd roll your eyes and laugh.  It was great.  I told daddy the story when we got home and he laughed and laughed.  Oh Katie, I love our little inside jokes
• Today we took Katie for a haircut.  You guys all hung out in hopes of getting a lollipop at the end. They didn't disappoint.  How can lollipops hold such power?  You guys will do almost anything if there's a promise of a lollipop at the end.  Actually, that reminds me of a funny story.  When dad had his vasectomy, they gave him a lollipop to suck on during the procedure.  It struck me as ludicrous.  Really?  A forty year old man being distracted enough by a lollipop to let someone perform a minor surgery on his most prized possession.  Lol.  
• There's someone in my life who doesn't like me.  Like, really really really doesn't like me.  I became aware of this last fall, and it's taken me almost this long to come to terms with it.  I'm super uncomfortable with not being liked, and I've avoided it up until this point in my life by keeping things superficial or just shying away from confrontation.  I'm telling you this because you're going to run into it at some point in your life.  You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea.  AND THAT'S OK.  No one has to like you.  No one owes you that.  Sometimes people won't like you because you remind them of someone, or they see something in you that reminds them of something they don't like in themselves, or maybe you've hurt them and they haven't found a way to tell you, or maybe they just find you annoying.  Whatever the case, it hurts, but you need to find a way to let it go.  I was feeling really down about it, but then I started to look at the other relationships in my life.  I have so many successful relationships, that this one crappy situation truly is an exception.  I heard a saying once, and I think it's so true.  "If you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole.  If you meet assholes all day long, you're the asshole."   I still haven't given up on repairing the damage.  We once loved each other deeply.  I think there's hope...there's always hope.  I'll wait until they're ready.  Obviously now is not the time.